Addressing A Taboo Question in the Exam Room

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Although trained to avoid discussing religion, physicians can engage with patients who initiate these conversations. Here’s how to best handle such situations.

In our training, addressing religion or politics with patients was considered taboo. That, however, does not prevent patients from asking these questions. While we should never be the ones to initiate conversations around such topics, we can answer them when they arise.

How to answer questions about spirituality asked by patients?

If a patient asks you what religion you are, it is OK to tell them. Patients may be asking this for a host of reasons. Maybe they are just curious. Or perhaps they are afraid, and knowing your belief system provides comfort.

It is OK to tell them you are not comfortable answering the question. We all have our belief systems, which we can keep as private as we like. There is no requirement for us to answer questions about our personal lives.

Keep it short. The exam room is not the place to preach or evangelize. The deeper the discussion, the greater the likelihood that belief differences will emerge. While there is nothing wrong with different beliefs, it can hinder medical care if it goes too deep.

Be prepared. After practicing for many years, you will develop your way of handling these situations. Know that patients will, at times, ask us personal questions. Do we want to share, or do we want to keep the exam room strictly for medical care? As a family doctor in practice for more than 20 years, I’ve grown close to my patients and don’t mind sharing some personal information with them. However, that would be a different feeling if it came from a patient I didn’t know very well.

Don’t be afraid to wish patients a happy holiday. A great divide between religion and public life exists in our society. If we know our patients’ religious beliefs, there is nothing wrong in saying “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Hanukkah,” “Eid Mubarak,” or whatever greeting is appropriate to a specific patient. However, we need to be aware that not all our patients share the same beliefs, and we should not say anything if we are unsure. We don’t want to offend someone unknowingly.

Refer to a spiritual advisor as appropriate. Some patients have questions about life after death or other spiritual concerns. It is best to refer them to a spiritual advisor at their place of worship.

Admit what you don’t know. Saying “I don’t know” is always better than making up an answer or assuming a right answer that may be wrong.

The internet is full of spiritual and nonspiritual advice. The chances are that patients will sometimes seek our help, as this can be closely tied to health and wellness. It is OK not to have the answers, but we should not ignore our patients’ concerns. We can listen empathetically and try to understand our patients’ viewpoints. We may disagree with them, but we don’t need to debate them. Let them have their beliefs. We can keep ours without upsetting our patients.